Prep

Take Ivy scans from various sources

I'm all for the 60's/70's dapper, preppy, all-american gatsby look. Everything just looks so put together and fully styled from head to
toe. Just impeccable style.

Money, so funny.

Dr Martens


Dior Homme


Porte Monnaie

Of course, these are just the epitome of merchandises, pending on the to-do list. I don't actually buy them. You see, this is just a blog. A public diary, in other words a virtual haolian space. I might end up giving a "check" on the 'Dr. Martens' boots but you'll never know.. the real thing I bought was a Doktor Mahathin's WTF.

The wallet is in another category though. It's just to flying cool to give it a pass.



It's like a fucking clown jack in the box. The cross-like pattern you saw in the earlier picture, is actually a origami pattern like foldable leather compartment shit. Huh? What? I'm a super awesome fashion robot? Ya I know right.

Well alright I'll now slap myself back to reality on why I decided to click on 'new post' and come up with this imaginary to-buy list. Truth is I'm broke like a dog again. Omg damn kao paiseh few weeks ago I still went around telling people I'm sleeping on top of my money and ironing them is my favourtie past-time WTF. Yeah but now I've fall and smack my head on the pavement and the cruel reality has dawned on me that I'm simply...broke. I'll tell you why.

Few days ago (if you really need to know, It was a friday, a very rainy and morbid one) I had my first job assignment as trainer. You know how I've been juggling around training kids at primary schools on the basics of Ms Word and powerpoint for my attachment job. Fundamentally, its the same banana mananas only this time, I'm training adults. And I don't think they'll ever call me in for any more assignments FML. More on that shootmepls story later.

On the night before I set the alarm at 645am as my lesson starts at 830am, I wanted to be a bit more lazy and set it to 7 but I'm a genius and I knew I would snooze the alarm and wake up at 7 anyways wtf. So I happily got myself changed and playfully jumped and sang my way to the train station wtf thinking theres no way I would be late as I had at least 15 minutes of allowance to reach the place in time. Then, laosai happened. I don't know whether it was the stupid rainy weather that messed with my brain or I'm actually just..plain stupid wtf I suddenly remembered something about reaching the place at 8am, 30 MINUTES EARLIER WHICH MEANS I'M ALREADY LATE! I abruptly got off the train and my laosai brain told me to take a cab so I did.

Remember what I said about the weather? Yeah it got every shit to do with this tragedy. Apparently, singaporeans are not trained to drive during rainy days so what they do is, they close their eyes and let the cars drive themselves! And surprise surprise! Bumper car extravaganza!!!!1 WOOOOHOOOOO I clapped my hands as I watched on and celebrate while the taxi meter raised in harmony with the frequency of road catastrophes. If that wasn't enough for a confetti bursting celebration, my laosai brain didn't warned me about going through 2 ERPs along the way to orchard. Dingdingding!! and as the digits on the doom meter loomed towards me, I swear I saw the angel of death coming to redeem me wtf. For the grand finale, the cab fare ended with a bang with the grand total of 70 glorious bucks ( actually SGD31 la, 70 bucks is in ringgit, digit bigger more dramatic effect mah wtf) and hark the herald angels sing! I reached the teaching office at 850pmam! High 5 anyone?

And that..was not it. I was so fucking nervous the whole time because first, the fact that I was so fucking late FML no.1. Second, the dress code was shirt and tie, I had no tie FML no.2. Third, the students were all super computer literate and non of them were pork uncles and vegetable aunties as I imagined wtf. Fourth, my boss sent some scrutinizing alien from her work staff and I was supervised like a prisoner FML no.3. Fifth, I basically stumbled my way like a fat and stammering dwarf throughout the lesson FML no. 2165456651^n+1

Later, I phoned my boss to explain and apologize for being late for lesson and this is what I got
"One of my staff, yeah she thinks you're unfamiliar with Microsoft Word"

Now, who wants to donate me for breakfast/lunch/dinner for the next three months ^____^ HIHI IS ME!!!!!

Sing Hallelujah!

Due to the most recent sacred prayer that includes the most holy rituals of bowing down in profound meditative silence, genuflecting in deepest of mortal depth and last but not least..tweeting wtf, I hereby sing praise to God and declare from now on, all the wtfs that comes out from my mouth takes a complete drastic turn and has a whole new revitalizing meaning to it. Since I've promised to swearing abstinence (refer to most recent tweeyer <--twitter prayer), the four letter word f in wtf now stands for fish/face/frog/feee/faii/foor/farm! or whatever jabberwocky that rock's your grandma panties

E.g. HAHAHAHAHA WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!1111 See I'm not even swearing! Remember the five different 'F's in the example sentence can take absolutely different shapes individually. Like how my friend Jason Mraz likes to say: "It's all about the wordplay Edwin Tsien Tze Siong my dear ol' friend...it's all about the wordplay...!" See I told you he's my friend.

Oh and by the way, ONE MORE FISHING FROGGEDY DAY TILL EVERYTHING POLY ENDS!!!1 Wait. Farm this shit! (WTF Farm this shit HAHAHAHAHAA) I don't want to jinx anything up by assuming anything 1st! Yikes errr oh well the above countdown statement is pure tentative. Huh? What? Me insecure loser? How dare you. I absolutely completely and utterly agree with you WTF.

p/s: I'll be going head to head with secondary school punkheads next week. Any advice for a stronger and believable inspiring prayer?

Mind-fuck

Show encrypted text

Sorry, for the protected entry. I'm an insecure shithead like that. Those who have 1. absolutely nothing to do, 2. friend of ed's 3. really have nothing to do wtf can request the open sesame code from me @msn @fb message @twitter you name it I got it >___^ wtf.

And of course the owner has the right to decide whether he is in a rainbow mood to show you the pathway to the pot of gold!

1900

screencaps from movie 'The Legend of 1900'

" ..keys begin, keys end. You know there are 88 of them. Nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You're infinite... And on those keys, the music that you can make... is infinite. I like that. That I can live by.. You rolled out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end. And that's the truth Max, that they never end. That keyboard is infinite... and if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench... That is God's piano."

3 more weeks till the end of an era. Jumping into a holiday of indefinite period, mixed feelings all over geez this is so fucking bizzare, the ordinary me would be popping champanges and cherries (WTF) by now. The movie captured my perspective on the post-poly life so well . Future — a land too big, a woman too beautiful, a voyage too long, perfume too strong..