Dr Martens
Dior Homme
Porte Monnaie
Of course, these are just the epitome of merchandises, pending on the to-do list. I don't actually buy them. You see, this is just a blog. A public diary, in other words a virtual haolian space. I might end up giving a "check" on the 'Dr. Martens' boots but you'll never know.. the real thing I bought was a Doktor Mahathin's WTF.
The wallet is in another category though. It's just to flying cool to give it a pass.
It's like a fucking clown jack in the box. The cross-like pattern you saw in the earlier picture, is actually a origami pattern like foldable leather compartment shit. Huh? What? I'm a super awesome fashion robot? Ya I know right.
Well alright I'll now slap myself back to reality on why I decided to click on 'new post' and come up with this imaginary to-buy list. Truth is I'm broke like a dog again. Omg damn kao paiseh few weeks ago I still went around telling people I'm sleeping on top of my money and ironing them is my favourtie past-time WTF. Yeah but now I've fall and smack my head on the pavement and the cruel reality has dawned on me that I'm simply...broke. I'll tell you why.
Few days ago (if you really need to know, It was a friday, a very rainy and morbid one) I had my first job assignment as trainer. You know how I've been juggling around training kids at primary schools on the basics of Ms Word and powerpoint for my attachment job. Fundamentally, its the same banana mananas only this time, I'm training adults. And I don't think they'll ever call me in for any more assignments FML. More on that shootmepls story later.
On the night before I set the alarm at 645am as my lesson starts at 830am, I wanted to be a bit more lazy and set it to 7 but I'm a genius and I knew I would snooze the alarm and wake up at 7 anyways wtf. So I happily got myself changed and playfully jumped and sang my way to the train station wtf thinking theres no way I would be late as I had at least 15 minutes of allowance to reach the place in time. Then, laosai happened. I don't know whether it was the stupid rainy weather that messed with my brain or I'm actually just..plain stupid wtf I suddenly remembered something about reaching the place at 8am, 30 MINUTES EARLIER WHICH MEANS I'M ALREADY LATE! I abruptly got off the train and my laosai brain told me to take a cab so I did.
Remember what I said about the weather? Yeah it got every shit to do with this tragedy. Apparently, singaporeans are not trained to drive during rainy days so what they do is, they close their eyes and let the cars drive themselves! And surprise surprise! Bumper car extravaganza!!!!1 WOOOOHOOOOO I clapped my hands as I watched on and celebrate while the taxi meter raised in harmony with the frequency of road catastrophes. If that wasn't enough for a confetti bursting celebration, my laosai brain didn't warned me about going through 2 ERPs along the way to orchard. Dingdingding!! and as the digits on the doom meter loomed towards me, I swear I saw the angel of death coming to redeem me wtf. For the grand finale, the cab fare ended with a bang with the grand total of 70 glorious bucks ( actually SGD31 la, 70 bucks is in ringgit, digit bigger more dramatic effect mah wtf) and hark the herald angels sing! I reached the teaching office at 850
pmam! High 5 anyone?
And that..was not it. I was so fucking nervous the whole time because first, the fact that I was so fucking late FML no.1. Second, the dress code was shirt and tie, I had no tie FML no.2. Third, the students were all super computer literate and non of them were pork uncles and vegetable aunties as I imagined wtf. Fourth, my boss sent some scrutinizing alien from her work staff and I was supervised like a prisoner FML no.3. Fifth, I basically stumbled my way like a fat and stammering dwarf throughout the lesson FML no. 2165456651^n+1
Later, I phoned my boss to explain and apologize for being late for lesson and this is what I got
"One of my staff, yeah she thinks you're unfamiliar with Microsoft Word"Now, who wants to donate me for breakfast/lunch/dinner for the next three months ^____^ HIHI IS ME!!!!!
