All the bells are ringing out, for Christmas Day!

Happy Holidays! I'll leave you with my all-time favourite xmaspheric tune!

Adios 2009. You've been kind to us. Hello future skyjuicereaders 2010! I resolute to update this space more often so good luck to us!

amboi cepatnya pusing masa!

Wahai rakanku Si Jasmine Ng Jiamin Selamat Hari Jadi 20 Tahun!

Apeee je! Dah telepon lu semalam berwish-wish lu berketawa semasa hari jadi (happy birthday wtf) masihhh tak cukup aduhai~ skrg masih berblog satu fotograph yg banyak cantik amboiiiiiii! oren maksud lah pagillah ni hahahaha OREN MAKSUD TAU TAK??! Klah dah nak naik KKKL ni! Kit-kat bersama lu lain kali lah! KKK! K(~_~)K!

p/s: gambar ni diambik di KL jugak!

Mrs. Cold

Hey, baby
what’s going on?
You lost control and you lost your tongue
You lost me
Deaf in my ear
Nothing you can say is gonna change the way I feel

OK I get it
OK I see
You were fronting because
You knew you find yourself vulnerable around me

OK I get it
OK I see
I step too close to your boundaries


Ahh. Come lets hold hands and float together.

Stick it to the man!

"The cleaning guy is coming to clean up the sticky stuff off the floor" HAHAHAHA

Too fucking epic. I'll never get tired of this movie ever. JB is THE MAN.

The Canteen

You probably realize the blogging pattern by now, sudden emergence of a few rhapsodic posts in a roll and poof back into no man's valley. Well actually if you realize what I've just said, ya I don't have a blogging pattern wtf.

As cool as I want to be (to have blogging patterns wtf), I just post out whatever shit that comes into my mind and weird enough inspiration for me comes in waves. When theres no shit, then theres simply no shit, except that I do still take a shit every morning in real life (true story wtf). Oh and I fucking hate morning dumps but not as much as I hate mornings..(cue for start of inspirational story)

Where were we! Oh yeah mornings pfffffft wtf. So I had this job as a trainer in one of the sec skools and big fucking surprise it happens in the morning. Oh and I don't think any of you are gonna believe what imma say next but I reach the skool 15 minutes early and it was 745AM. Holy cranberries and guess what the flying fuck happened? The class was delayed by an assembly and eventually we found out the lesson only starts at 820. Story of my life..

As I was busy reciting FMLs in my head and thinking of what bombastic words to use for this future blog post of mine, something caught my sight and I went totally blank. It was nothing of great significance, but right at that time, that place, that very moment, everything was... significant. A bunch of sec school punks were gathered together at one of the tables, most of them were probably exchanging conversations about their weekends and how brutal that it was monday again. The bell buzzed and an announcement to gather for assembly pronto was made. With a few heave of deep sighs, they got up from their table looked at each other, threw one another a weak smile and walked towards the parade square.

The moment frozed and I was back at the old school canteen at ssi. We were looking at our watches, dreading for time to pass as we were raving about how we are going to hutan bandar next week again. The bell strucks and as usual we blatantly ignored it hoping that time would stop just for us. We were always the last ones to leave the canteen. The haughty pengawas (Tee Loo X) would threatened us and jot down our names if we were still there. We pulled ourselves to the hall while the conversations we had and memories of prior happenings flashed through our heads over and over again. We looked at each other and at that very moment we knew everything is gonna be okay, we are gonna be okay because we had each other as friends.

I miss yall dear ol' friends. How are yall doing?

Pineapple Fucking Express

Dudes, the monkey's out of the bottle. I'm a year late and I just found my new BFFF. Teh Best fucking film forever.

94.5 out of 95.5 bananas. Uh-huh Uh-huh why the use of bananas? Cause it's yellow and pineapples are also yellow and I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about.

And that's the pineapple fucking express.

Ridonkulously awesome, period.

Saxo-who?

Trumpet is teh new sex. This makes saxophone sounds overated. Gawd, sex me up with that long hard golden GOOOOH-den trumpet wtf.

Bow Wow

Today while I was at the bus stop minding my own business and of course, waiting for a bus wtf, I was visually interested/disturbed by this creature which looked unapologetically cutez but has this inner malicious smirking appearance (wtf?) that makes me wanna inner punch the shit outta it.

If I was in toy story, it would look like this.

Islut.
I think that's how Steve Job name his prostitutes.

I once swear to my kiddy self that I would sooooo get this dog when I grow up. Oh crap, I'm already 21. Don't mind kiddy self wtf. Yeah so as I was saying, I was a huge fan of Islut (the dog, not steve job's prostitute) when I was a kid. Cmon it is the weirdest looking thing ever and who doesn't like weird looking things!
(Awkward silence)



Fcking awesome. No?

This was the only anime I watched during kiddy times. Oh and 宇宙小毛球 DUI AH DUI AH WTF! What do you call that in english eh? aiya some orange gremlin knockoff la! Back to islut. I was so into it that I even read the comic book! All I can tell you is that I don't read comic books when I was a kid! Simply cause I don't know how WTF. I can't tell whether the story begins from left to right or right to left. (Is this normal? I liked to think I was very smart when I was a kid tho cause I got 6As for UPSR. 5As for PMR and 4As for SPM FML.) So yeah, Bow wow was the only comic that I read cause I only look at the pictures LOL! Oh and laofuzi maybe cause it's the only comic book with numbering system HAHAHAH.

Ya ok so I don't know why I blogged about this anyway. Ahh, Bow wow you complete me. Hereby I swear I will get it as my adult pet when I err really grow up!

p/s: the dog not the prostitute.

What am I doing?

#1 Glee - This show is gonna be huge. Awesome dry wit and talented singing monkeys. Huh high school music-whah?

#2 HIMYM season 5 - Barney and Robin hooks up. Legen wait for it dary.

#3 Me looking awesome- That's me looking awesome! With an unknown chick trying to hook up with me with other unknown chick trying to hook up with the unknown chick who is trying to hook up with me WTF. oh and it's taken on some unknown chick's birthday party. Popular wait for it bookstore.

#4 Speaking of bookstores- the book I bought while I was high on money and high on..just high wtf. I know right? I unbelievably bought a book again like omg now I can say I buy books frequently! like once a year! About the book, if you thought the movie was awesome, read this. Chuck Palahniuk is a genius.

#5 ebay- HOW TO USE THIS AH? WTF

My life is so mundane now that I have no resources to come up with long posts now. Actually, thank god for that because when I have nothing interesting going on my life it simply means I'M FML FREE WOOHOOO WTF. Oh but I'm going to go sit on the aeroplane next next week so maybe you can pray for a turbulence or some air stewardess transforming into an androgynous biohazard species who massacres all the passengers with her venom humping vajayjay and slapping tentacles spurting green slimy liquid..ok you get my point. Then, we'll have something to read! Or even a video perhaps.....for the turbulence! What were you thinking you filthy brain feces eating bastards.

p/s: I BOUGHT THE AIR TICKET FOR 4 DOLLARS AND 20 CENTS.

Somebody shoot me pls

℮d says:
i think im going to melaka tomorrow!
ßåbY Vivª n ¤~ says:
zzzzzzzzzzzz
℮d says:
no actually in just a few hours! YES!
ßåbY Vivª n ¤~ says:
SIAO
℮d says:
LOL!
℮d says:
DID U GET THE JOKE?
℮d says:
dawn yang's video ah!
ßåbY Vivª n ¤~ says:
EH I LOVE DAWN YANG AR
ßåbY Vivª n ¤~ says:
OMG
ßåbY Vivª n ¤~ says:
damn pretty


bouncy bouncy smack smack vivian just gave me a fucking heart attack!

MA, SHOULD I STILL CONTINUE BEING FRIENDS WITH HER.....? BUT MA.......! SHE LIKES POWDER!

It's toasted

I'm hooked. The pilot was so fucking good, the script is genius and it's based on the 60's. Nuff' said.

Advertising is based on one thing: happiness. And do you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you're doing is OK. You are OK.

Reviews spewed venom on the second season though. That it started to slide down hill. Heck care Imma indulge myself for at least one season. And then, I'll move on to another shiny new toy.

Sometimes this philosophy of mine really scares the shiz outta me. I 'tv-show hop' like how I have multiple interest and shit going on in my life, and in the end I'm a lost sheep with no niche waiting to be 'lamb-chopified' wtf.

Jack of all trades, master of none. Eclecticism, is it even a good thing?

***




The next big thing after Susan Boyle?

Prep

Take Ivy scans from various sources

I'm all for the 60's/70's dapper, preppy, all-american gatsby look. Everything just looks so put together and fully styled from head to
toe. Just impeccable style.

Money, so funny.

Dr Martens


Dior Homme


Porte Monnaie

Of course, these are just the epitome of merchandises, pending on the to-do list. I don't actually buy them. You see, this is just a blog. A public diary, in other words a virtual haolian space. I might end up giving a "check" on the 'Dr. Martens' boots but you'll never know.. the real thing I bought was a Doktor Mahathin's WTF.

The wallet is in another category though. It's just to flying cool to give it a pass.



It's like a fucking clown jack in the box. The cross-like pattern you saw in the earlier picture, is actually a origami pattern like foldable leather compartment shit. Huh? What? I'm a super awesome fashion robot? Ya I know right.

Well alright I'll now slap myself back to reality on why I decided to click on 'new post' and come up with this imaginary to-buy list. Truth is I'm broke like a dog again. Omg damn kao paiseh few weeks ago I still went around telling people I'm sleeping on top of my money and ironing them is my favourtie past-time WTF. Yeah but now I've fall and smack my head on the pavement and the cruel reality has dawned on me that I'm simply...broke. I'll tell you why.

Few days ago (if you really need to know, It was a friday, a very rainy and morbid one) I had my first job assignment as trainer. You know how I've been juggling around training kids at primary schools on the basics of Ms Word and powerpoint for my attachment job. Fundamentally, its the same banana mananas only this time, I'm training adults. And I don't think they'll ever call me in for any more assignments FML. More on that shootmepls story later.

On the night before I set the alarm at 645am as my lesson starts at 830am, I wanted to be a bit more lazy and set it to 7 but I'm a genius and I knew I would snooze the alarm and wake up at 7 anyways wtf. So I happily got myself changed and playfully jumped and sang my way to the train station wtf thinking theres no way I would be late as I had at least 15 minutes of allowance to reach the place in time. Then, laosai happened. I don't know whether it was the stupid rainy weather that messed with my brain or I'm actually just..plain stupid wtf I suddenly remembered something about reaching the place at 8am, 30 MINUTES EARLIER WHICH MEANS I'M ALREADY LATE! I abruptly got off the train and my laosai brain told me to take a cab so I did.

Remember what I said about the weather? Yeah it got every shit to do with this tragedy. Apparently, singaporeans are not trained to drive during rainy days so what they do is, they close their eyes and let the cars drive themselves! And surprise surprise! Bumper car extravaganza!!!!1 WOOOOHOOOOO I clapped my hands as I watched on and celebrate while the taxi meter raised in harmony with the frequency of road catastrophes. If that wasn't enough for a confetti bursting celebration, my laosai brain didn't warned me about going through 2 ERPs along the way to orchard. Dingdingding!! and as the digits on the doom meter loomed towards me, I swear I saw the angel of death coming to redeem me wtf. For the grand finale, the cab fare ended with a bang with the grand total of 70 glorious bucks ( actually SGD31 la, 70 bucks is in ringgit, digit bigger more dramatic effect mah wtf) and hark the herald angels sing! I reached the teaching office at 850pmam! High 5 anyone?

And that..was not it. I was so fucking nervous the whole time because first, the fact that I was so fucking late FML no.1. Second, the dress code was shirt and tie, I had no tie FML no.2. Third, the students were all super computer literate and non of them were pork uncles and vegetable aunties as I imagined wtf. Fourth, my boss sent some scrutinizing alien from her work staff and I was supervised like a prisoner FML no.3. Fifth, I basically stumbled my way like a fat and stammering dwarf throughout the lesson FML no. 2165456651^n+1

Later, I phoned my boss to explain and apologize for being late for lesson and this is what I got
"One of my staff, yeah she thinks you're unfamiliar with Microsoft Word"

Now, who wants to donate me for breakfast/lunch/dinner for the next three months ^____^ HIHI IS ME!!!!!

Sing Hallelujah!

Due to the most recent sacred prayer that includes the most holy rituals of bowing down in profound meditative silence, genuflecting in deepest of mortal depth and last but not least..tweeting wtf, I hereby sing praise to God and declare from now on, all the wtfs that comes out from my mouth takes a complete drastic turn and has a whole new revitalizing meaning to it. Since I've promised to swearing abstinence (refer to most recent tweeyer <--twitter prayer), the four letter word f in wtf now stands for fish/face/frog/feee/faii/foor/farm! or whatever jabberwocky that rock's your grandma panties

E.g. HAHAHAHAHA WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!1111 See I'm not even swearing! Remember the five different 'F's in the example sentence can take absolutely different shapes individually. Like how my friend Jason Mraz likes to say: "It's all about the wordplay Edwin Tsien Tze Siong my dear ol' friend...it's all about the wordplay...!" See I told you he's my friend.

Oh and by the way, ONE MORE FISHING FROGGEDY DAY TILL EVERYTHING POLY ENDS!!!1 Wait. Farm this shit! (WTF Farm this shit HAHAHAHAHAA) I don't want to jinx anything up by assuming anything 1st! Yikes errr oh well the above countdown statement is pure tentative. Huh? What? Me insecure loser? How dare you. I absolutely completely and utterly agree with you WTF.

p/s: I'll be going head to head with secondary school punkheads next week. Any advice for a stronger and believable inspiring prayer?

Mind-fuck

Show encrypted text

Sorry, for the protected entry. I'm an insecure shithead like that. Those who have 1. absolutely nothing to do, 2. friend of ed's 3. really have nothing to do wtf can request the open sesame code from me @msn @fb message @twitter you name it I got it >___^ wtf.

And of course the owner has the right to decide whether he is in a rainbow mood to show you the pathway to the pot of gold!

1900

screencaps from movie 'The Legend of 1900'

" ..keys begin, keys end. You know there are 88 of them. Nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You're infinite... And on those keys, the music that you can make... is infinite. I like that. That I can live by.. You rolled out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end. And that's the truth Max, that they never end. That keyboard is infinite... and if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench... That is God's piano."

3 more weeks till the end of an era. Jumping into a holiday of indefinite period, mixed feelings all over geez this is so fucking bizzare, the ordinary me would be popping champanges and cherries (WTF) by now. The movie captured my perspective on the post-poly life so well . Future — a land too big, a woman too beautiful, a voyage too long, perfume too strong..

Misanthropy

Twitter is officially eating up this blog space. Updating in 140 words is just too freaking convenient for lazy shitheads like me.

And since i'm doing it here, there's no way that this is gonna be brief.

You know, working in the real world is a real pain in the ass, but thought provoking at the same time. I guess I'm just not made to work in a constrained air-conditioned compound, where leverage are thrown at each other in a pyramid chain, while co-workers contrive among each other. All which is the office.

I'm just not cut out for this shit. I guess that's why I subconsciously remind myself that I will never want a monotonous work routine later in life. Because monotonous work life essentially equivalents getting ass stuck in office feces. There's a real war going on everyday in that shit space. People murder (figuratively) to get ahead. Which involves of stabbing at the back. I mean how can people actually be inspired when they are confined to a space like that, working or I would rather put it crudely as WASTING THEIR LIFE there. Is there not a larger significance in life than making moolahs and thriving ahead? How about living your life?

I know this is what you will casually put it as the cruelty and reality of life, well fuck that. This is what people tell themselves to make themselves feel better. Since it is the "reality", which means it is normal it is mainstream, everyone's doing it, so there's is nothing wrong with it. Really? Well, I sure hope one day the trend would be "feeding on each other's feces". That would be quite a sight wtf.

I think i just needed to write all this shit out from whatever I'm experiencing about work life now. Knock myself on the head to be never unfrekinspired enuff to stuck myself in that shithole. Because before you know it, you're already 60 and all you got is a bunch of hollow memories of your corporate life and a couple of unfilial obnoxious workaholic kids to go with wtf.

Be frekinspired. Make the change you want to see in your life.

p/s: I think i just discovered that i'm lactose intolerant. (notice the overflowing of feces in the entry wtf) All the laosai memories are coming back to haunt me wtf. From just drinking a glass a fresh milk to a bowl of cereal goodness wateriness.

p/p/s: I went to a da vinci exhibition the other day and it was fucking inspiring. I guess that's what provoked this entry. To live life like a carefree renaissance man where all they care were painting intricate naked women and every single one of their pubic hair wtf.

"No, Listen. You are perfect. But you are gonna meet a lot of stupid people in your life and they're just not gonna get you, Screw em. All that matters is that you never for a second change who you are.."

Tribute: Childhood Hero

Black or White.

I remember watching this video a million times when I was a kid. Especially the part where
Macaulay Culkin blew his dad off the roof, which blew my mind over and over again. I would rewind like 121029310 times just to see that particular part. I think that's why we got new VCR players every few months wtf. (i was still a kid hello???! a cute one wtf.)

Every kids talent show, every comedy night, and every church family night event I went, there it was. There were always at least 2 or more contestants doing the MJ impersonation. And everyone would go nuts for it. Imagine that. People were ecstatic just by looking at fake MJ impersonations. Needless to say, when normal homosapiens witness the presence of the real king of pop, they faint. Over and over again wtf. As a kid, I was damn baffled when some random women would run to the stage, threw themselves at MJ like some famished beast, and pengsan after that wtf. (My dad was a huge MJ fan and there were never ending MJ concert videos to watch when I grew up.) It's like they died and went to heaven.

At that time, my family were definitely normal homosapiens. Every morning I'll have the comfort of waking up to MJ's album cd playing on the record player. Every car ride there's always me and my bro singing to MJ's songs (where we would always do the "AO!" in unison wtf). Everyday we would impersonate the moonwalk and fail miserably, laugh at each other and have a big fist fight after that wtf. Everywhere were MJ posters plastered in our room, where we put on our sunglasses and our fake black cowboy hats wtf and convince ourselves that we were the king of pop himself.

There were just too many awesome memories of MJ in our lives. His music playing in our heads, for every significant MJ memory. Although he is gone now, I believe that the way he mesmerizes, the unbelievable charisma and stage presence, the notorious crotch grab (AO!) , the super sleek dance moves, the huge inspiration and exceptional talent, will live on forever. He will forever be my greatest childhood hero.



RIP MJ.

Update

The blogging aura in me has died off, which explains the lack of updates.

Maybe it's because I'm not intrigued by writing anymore (hangat2 tahi ayam je budak ni wtf), maybe it's because of the hectic work life. Actually, maybe is sucha cool word that I wanna be a maybe man. It's sucha vague and ambiguous reply between yes and no that sometimes you don't even know which side are you leaning towards more wtf why am i talking about this wtf. Oh right! I just watched YES MAN yesterday. NO MAN NO MAN NO MAN WTF.

About work, life can't get any monotonous than that. It's like i'm zombi-fied and terminator-fied all in the same time. robocop wtf. wall-e wtf. my fyp soccer robot wtf. Can you spot the anecdote here? Me->stiff->hard->soundswrong->waitforit->work life pffft.

Most of the depression from work comes from the deprivation of 1st-week-kids-funny-high5-more high5-belly bump wtf to the 2nd and 3rd week where I was given the important task of....sorting lego parts WTF. What kind of a fucking bummer is that??!?! From 1st week where I had the time of my life to heading towards the gates of lego hades. And it rhymes...!

And the even bigger bummer than the previous bigger big bummer (BBB wtf) is the classes for the school I'm initially assisting at is canceled....because of pig flu...I don't even feel like continuing this post anymore....just let me die NOOO KIDS DON'T STOP ME NOOO STOP PULLING MR. EDWIN'S HAND WTF.

But seriously, kids just say and do the funniest things. They can be annoying at times but who cares, the next moment when they do another one of their stuns you'll be smiling and wishing that you were their dad. come to papa wtf.


***

This album just blew my mind all over the bus's windows and innocent passenger's faces (I was listening to it on the bus wtf)

edit: filtered the wtfs. I'm starting to get baffled by the incessant wtfs wtf.

Messages.

Favourite videos at the moment.

Updates on attachment soon. Total fatigue, the traveling and wakey time is a million times worse than fyp. Having said that, it's been awesome so far tho. Kids never fail to make our day, don't they.

And it's down to 3 months.

It was a friday morning. The lab seem quieter than usual. I looked around at the empty seats and walked steadily towards mine. I was somewhat more energized than the past fridays while at the same time, the killer morning lethargic-ness was in my bones as usual.

I turned on the computer wanting to keep myself occupied. Then, for a moment I realized that there was nothing left to do. This was it. 12 weeks of incessant complains about early mornings, fucked up robot programs, surfing the net aimlessly (what?? i'm edwin hello wtf), lectures supervising my ass while ambushing and scaring me shitless when I was secretly updating my blog (sigh the hoops i go through to entertain you people hahahaha). 12 weeks of shit just loomed past me and I can't believe it. Especially the early mornings, that was the biggest transition ever in my life so far, or it will stay that way forever wtf hahahaha damn small my achievements in life FMLFML. This is gonna sound mad cheesy but, yesterday was probably the last time I'm ever gonna step into my school again. (provided if i don't fail my........CHOICHOI DAIGELAISI touchwood now or go SEK SI WTF)

I'm heading for attachment next week whoopee finally something really substantial! The money I mean wtf klakla working experience also laa which leads me back to the pay i'm gonna get teeeheee wtf.

*
Roland Garros.

Djokovic kicked ass big time. Swiped the opponent in just over 35 minutes how sweet is that. It's only the 2nd round though wtf. And he's trailing in the 3rd round now WTF.

I hate to say this, but we all know Nadal's gonna win the title hands down. He brought federer down into tears at oz open and now clay court? Geez.

MLIA

MLIA= MyLifeIsAverage

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night because my pillow was too warm.
I flipped it then went back to sleep. MLIA

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA DAMN STUPID HAHAHAHAHAHA

Today I woke up at 3am. I masturbated and fell back asleep. MLIA

someone posted my story before me WTF

Today, I went to the store and bought some Land o Lakes cheese. On the label, it
said 'LOL Cheese'. I laughed. MLIA

AVERAGE UNTIL WHAT TIME HAHAHAHAHAHA

and I can totally relate to all these stories because...

it's past an hour, i'm still the only one laughing FML

Double FML

#1 I was supposed to take a video for my robot project today (just so if anything goes wrong I can just show the video), the final presentation's on wednesday. Few moments after I shoved the power supply into the robot, I saw smoke coming out behind it's head. Fyi, I did not capture any bloody footage of my robot AT ALL. FML

#2 WHO THE FUCK IS SOHPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS SHE YOUR MAID WTF OR YOUR SANITARY PAD'S BRAND WTF. AND I DID NOT TAKE ANY BLOODY DIET PILLS I ONLY USED THE BATH SALT THING YINLING GAVE ME FOR MY BEER BELLY WTFWTF. FMLFMLFMLFML.

If you haven't noticed, my twitter got hacked and it's promoting slimming pills WTF. I KNOW RIGHT WHO THE HELL HACKS TWITTER ACCOUNTS SIAO ONE ASDLKASJDOEA. Should I just reset my password ( fyi, bloody hacker changed it tmd limbeh can't login now) and use back the old account and track sophie down wtf. OR should I create a new account? BUT I'LL LOSE ALL MY FOLLOWERS!!! not one not two but.................... 17!!!!! HAHAHAHAH DAMN PATHETIC KTHXBAI

*

Some devil some angel
Has got me to the bones
You said always and forever
Now I believe you baby
You said always and forever
Is such a long and lonely time

Fuckin' beautiful. Vocals accompanied with just the guitar, so hauntingly poignant. I can't believe I've only heard of the masterpiece now. One of the greatest of our time.

Reassurance

New header.

Actually if you refresh my blog in every 3 seconds (hello ada wtf), you'll know that this is the 123182302th time I've been throwing out new headers only to tear em down the next second and replace it with the old one. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK EDWIN!! (wtf is too subtle here wtf). I seriously think theres something wrong with me, like I secretly gain bizzare sexual pleasure in the process of all this shit. And in the end I settled with just two miserable words, which could easily took me 3 seconds (hello again ada wtf) to design type godammit.

One thing about interviews. Do you lie when you are in one of those? Hmm let me rephrase my question. Is it right to be lying in one of those? You know sometimes you say things to boast and enhance your "resume", that's what I did. And I felt bad after that. At that point during the interview, I felt like my instinct was telling me to do it, either you're an idoit or insane if you don't

" Are you a punctual person? Our company thinks very highly of that"
" Yes, I am"

I am so full of it. It might seem like a "common-sense-lie" but a lie is still a lie ain't it. Makes me wonder how many lies do we tell daily. Believe me, that wasn't the only bullshit I came up in the interview. If there was a interview lying quota, mine was overflowing with laughing and lying little elfs wtf

***



Dig dig dig.

Listen to the original Bryan Ferry's version and then this. FUCKIN' AWESOME. Her tunes are looping crazy on my ipod. Sick sick sound. Vocals, mad smooth. Just adds infinite atmospheric quality to her music. And I really dig her style, effortlessly charasmatic. Slick is the word.

p.s: great...I'm back to wordy self.

Pictures. What pictures?

There I was clicking the 'Older Post' link browsing through past entries.

I was astounded (look at how i cringe wtf) at how I have 'revitalized' the method of how I bloggie without me knowie.

I was at the verge of turning into this old hag talking in never ending sentences followed by more never ending sex...WAIT FOR IT.....tences. sentences. (old hag got rabun mata tend to misspell more wan WTF)

I was blogging in words so much, that I looked like your imaginary blogger friend from brazil wtf ireland wtf sudan wtf alfghanistan wtf ok you get my point. Like there was no pictures to proof my existance gasp

In blogging retrospect, I think in a certain cryptic way I have outgrown myself although I have no idea whether it is for the better. In fact, no one does.

This entry will serve as a small reminder of how I have evolved , the ambiguity of how I perceive the world in different perspectives at different stages of my life span, of turning points, of new eras, of the begginings of the end. endings of new beginnings, beginnings of new endings, end of begin, begin of end begin end end begin THE END WTF

p/s: the imaginary empty seat might not be that empty after all gasp inside joke wtf.

Live Long and Prosper \\ //

I iz givin Star Trek some mayjah lurve. \\ // (hahahaha damn kute this simbol \\ // its spock's handsign dehhh the notorious ET handsign \\ // \\ // \\ // geddit geddit????not the peace handsign ok wtf)

I'm not gonna say anything more bout its greatness as I'm sure you already seen all the awesome reviews splattered everywhere on the net. Seriously, it's been on twitter's trending topics for like 3 weeks already. Big deal ok! Even Obama is not on the list wtf. It's that damn good really go watch it if you haven't please laaa do yourself a favour and stop watching trashy movies like high school musical 4.5 wtf and GO WATCH STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!! You'll be laughing off your seats(the wit), holding on to your seats(the intense action), holding your bladder while holding on to your seats(the overdose of coke wtf) and at the end you won't bear to leave your sits and accept the fact that the show has ended T_______T (cause you already pee'd your pants WTF)

***

If you have been following me on twitter you'll know what I've been upto lately ( I know you do stalkers! say hi to me on twitter stop hiding already wtf) I've got myself a bloody short haircut macibai don't even get me started on that, am convinced Kris Allen ( idol finalist) should be on "Days of our lives" instead of Idol wtf, and yeah the most recent and devastating news for all of us my dear comrades........ I've failed the NAPFA test (physical fitness test). Timed in 15 minutes for the 2.4km run fuck that!!!! Imma go throw away my new shiny running shoes now who wants it please go wait below my flat and throw back 70 bucks to me not free lah stupid im edwin hello kthxbai wtf.

Oh and if you haven't notice I've been harping about twitter the entire post. Wahai kawan-kawanku sekalian! what are you waiting for! Hop in the twitter bandwagon with ed and lets sing along to the happy twitter song! (I love you~ You love me~ WTF) My brain has been offically poisoned with all the barney my nephew is watching.... seriously why is that dinosaur purple again???!?!??!

p.s I was not asking you to join the twitter for the sake of joining. It's for the greater good. Follow ed on twitter and one day ashton kutcher will be my little twitter bitch wtf

Surreal

Gunmen in Turkey Kill 44 at Wedding

ISTANBUL, Turkey — In a gruesome massacre, more than 40 people, including many women and children, were killed late Monday when masked assailants attacked a wedding party in southeastern Turkey, the semi-official Anatolian News Agency reported. (Source here)

Immediately, the scene from "Kill Bill" struck my mind. The wedding massacre. And I thought gruesome untrue-some scenes like that only happen in the big screen. What the hell is wrong with the world? And here we are worrying about the Influenza A outbreak, where the global death toll is nowhere near this single bloody massacre. So fuck the flu. H1N1 is officially overrated. We are too busy inflicting deaths on ourselves. Huh what epidemic?

***
Yesterday was the longest day of my life.

I had a head-splitting throb in my head the other night. Yeah it was in my head. The pain was so bad that it was as though there was a little head-mutilating elf slashing inside my head, strumming my pain with his fingers, killing me softly with each slash..killing me softly WTF.
I was literally writhing on my bed in mind-blowing pain. It was excruciating till the point that It made me hell nausea and I was vomitting yellow like liquid ( brain-juice wtf) I thought I was gonna die T__T

I was ready to lie on my bed pathetically and wait for the death hour wtf weak while some angel will descend from a beam of glorious light and welcome me with open arms wtf delusional ( or burning flames to consume me from the ground = hell T_T ) Then suddenly my sister made a detour and chose not to go to work and bring me to a neurologist T_________T DAMN KAO EXPENSIVE OK. I kept refusing but she kept insisting haih what did I do in my past life to deserve sucha great sister. (Eh dad u're not reading this right damn paiseh wtf) I was supposed to get a MRI Scan (DAMN COOL RIGHT I FEEL LIKE IM IN THE SHOW HOUSE ONLY) but it cost a whopping 700 bucks. WTF RIGHT???!?! Being the k.i.e (kiam in everything wtf) of course I opted to skip the scan and see what will the medication do for me first.

Sigh, let's just hope theres no monster looking tumour (CHOI DAI GE LAI SI) in ed's brain. In the meantime, ed shall compensate for the neurologist consult (which was crazy expensive as well )with his 1st attachment paycheck ok maybe half lah the other half i wanna buy ipod wtf damn kiamsiap hahahahaha.

I can't thank my sis enough.

p.s something else "smashing" happened as well that made up the long long day that is yesterday, not gonna get into that. Let's just say I'll see you guys in hell wtf.

The Horrors

I officially have a music fetish for synthesizer sounds. They are orgasm for my ears. This track particularly blew my mind, vocals fitting into the electronica like a glove.

Actually I just wanted to blog to tell you i went jogging again wtf.

***

I'm starting to feel eccentric-ly aloof from the world. The seemingly approachable facade i forced on. Or rather the cruel world threw it upon me. I was lost for words, something was wrong, speech should be the equivalent of breathing, but there I was grasping for words.
Maybe it was those meals I had alone, maybe it was those times I decided to not care, I sub-consciously let my mind believe that I don't give a flying fuck about the people around me, and eventually shutting down from the world cognitively. Should I celebrate this moment and drift further away? As they always say, geniuses are some kind of a maverick. Or should I wake up from this wilderness and return to the world I thought I've known.

Just joking (jogging wtf)

Do you have this feeling whenever prior of doing something you'll be all pumped up while anticipating the idea of it ecstatic-ly but when you're in the middle of it you feel like you're constantly out of breath that you wanna throw in the towel so so so bad.

Eh don't dig so deep lah, I was just talking about jogging wtf.

I was all hyper about the idea of it (slimmer face wtf) this morning and promptly get myself ready or else procrastination kicks in like a bitch and I will end up in my bed dreaming of myself jogging 42.3km WTF. So, I hit right away to the jogging route like a man and came back an old worn out veteran with a blister toe!!!

OHHHHHHHHHHH1234SELF-HIGH5!!

Nolah actually I went out to jog at 11.00am and reached home all jaded and perspiring profusely at..... surprise surprise!! 11.15am FAIL T____T The blister was caused by the insanely tight shoes and I didn't wear socks wtf double fail. Yalah so can't blame me for the failure blame the shoes! *whistling and looking elsewhere

Just realized something. Why are my recent posts all about jogging wtf. I think I can compile all of it and write a book already man. Here's how the cover would look like.

"MEMOIRS OF A JOGGING WARRIOR WITH A BLISTER TOE"
#1 New york Times Bestseller.

(insert picture of heroic ed jogging with olympic torch)

he only jogged 15 minutes though wtf.

**

Guess what did i have for lunch?

ASAM LAKSA! AND ITS HOMEMADE!

It was damn damn damn good ok! Literally can hold a candle to that asam laksa stall nearby my jb house ( which is quite good imo and they are penang locals! ) eh but still can't compare with the land of the asam laksa origin lah. We don't have the dusty yellow legendary asam laksa recipe written on a toilet paper as our heirloom ok wtf.

Ok let me explain why it's so damn damn damn good. DAYUM!

HELLO??!?! DID I MENTION IT WAS HOMEMADE?? Homemade rocks asam laksa's potential to the very max aye. Don't ever underestimate a homemade of whatever. In fact, homemade is the best invention ever, period wtf kuazhang. Alright the reason why homemade is so awesome because you can add infinite amount of shizzles to your dish. In this case, infinite spammage of shredded onions and cucumber. Damn kao satisfying homg. And the most significant ingredient asam laksa cant do without! HA GAO!!! (PRAWN PASTE) ASIASJDOAJEKASDAKSDODSEEWOHHHHHHHH1234HIGHFIVE! Half the bowl of my soup was filled with hagao fuck this shit i can still feel the fragrant of it in my mouth mmmmmmm. It was rapture, rupturing in my mouth with every spoonful of the oh so rich hagao soup. The onions and cucumber shredded to perfection.. and the beehoon~ bouncing in my mouth playfully like little kids jumping on the trampoline WTF

OMG MY SIS'S MOM-IN LAW ( CAN I JUST CALL HER MOM WTF) CAME IN MY ROOM AND DECLARED SHE RETURNED WITH MORE BEEHOON!

WTF WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE? BYE!

Random vintage apparel > Bread

**UPDATE!!
1.STUNNED PENNILESS PIC ADDED
2. I RAN 9 ROUNDS (3.6KM) AND JASMIN RAN 7 ROUNDS (2.8KM)!!! (Everyone in stadium kneeling down in respect while reaching out for a high 5 when we sprint pass them wtf )

tilt head in awkward postion. check!
piggy bank (cropped). check!
stunned penniless look ( partly caused by pig's trottle tickle). check!
looking sizzling hot despite all previous actions. CHECK CHECK CHECK!

Saving money = epic phail!!
(I COULDN'T FIND A BLOODY PIGGY BANK ANYWHERE! So just randomly crop one from google image the buntut got reflection somemore wtf)

I shall not disclose the amount spent as I have a bad gut feeling that...my family's reading my blog behind closed blog curtains( HELLO DAD! The picture was just a joke lah ha.ha.ha I'm spending very wisely and eating bread for breakfast/no lunch so can save more $__$/dinner/supper(compensate for lunch wtf) and I don't have a piggy bank cause i save all my money in a actual bank wtf)(oh cook yong tau foo for dinner this weekend !yay! zomg i just saved 10 cents without smsing you aren't you proud of your son wtf)

Ok stop interrupting me. NOLA NOLA NOT TALKING TO YOU DAD ^_______^

As the title says, I should just drop dead now. Alrightey, this was what happened. I walked into the store, tried 1298371928378 fred perry polos but considered for 1239871293728 hours cause the price is obviously exorbitant (actually rather reasonable, as some of them were rare second-hand vintage pieces! all hail ed teh lobang king!), after a few moments later, I walked out the store with the piece more expensive than any one of those I've tried earlier on =_______=

WTF EDWIN WTF???!!?!?! WAUN!!! WAUN!!!! (WAT ARE U NUTS!)

Wait. I have a good valid reason for this.Ok rewind. After the part where I was trying and considering them polos, I was scanning the store for the last time. As I was losing all possible god forsaken hope and braced myself to leave the store once and for all.....AND THEN! AND THEN! AND THEN!THERE IT WAS!! THE SHINING BEACON OF HOPE!! GOD DID NOT FORSAKE ME T________T I SWEAR I SAW GOD SHONE A BEAM OF GLORIOUS LIGHT DIRECTLY AT THAT CLEAN! VINTAGE! MINIMAL! POLO TEE! ( avoids naming of polo tee brand, or it will be doom looming with dad and his ding diao wtf)

And the rest like what they say, was history....

Ed will be spending the rest of his meals with bread indeedy...

p.s hint for ambiguous polo tee brand: YouStupidLala/YourSterileLanjiao/YikesSiaodingdongLolness wtf

p.p.s (dad see here wtf) : Working my ass out later! Running 6 rounds of the stadium!! (2.4km only lah wtf) in a hopeful time of under 13 minutes. Sigh damn kao hard lah. I've been training on treadmills for the past few weeks but I was still 3 minutes over the time to pass napfa.Not gonna get into that, as there were complications with jasmine the time keeper (rolls uncountable) NVM DAD! YOUR SON CAN DO IT! AND SO CAN YOU! BY RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE WTF.

Is Sked

I was skeptical at 1st but FUCK THIS SHITTTTTTTTT.

This mind stalker genie is fucking creepy!! I cut him some slack at 1st by thinking about a famous celebrity. BUT THIS MIND STALKER STALKS UR BRAIN TO THE DEEPEST CORE AND EVEN DECIPHERS THE IDENDITY OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. EEYER SO SCARY LIKE THE SMALL GIRL IN HARPER'S ISLAND T______________T (she tortures snails with her magnifying glass btw wtf)

Are you sure you wanna shit in your panties by clicking this?

Oh and tell me which character did you play jedi mind tricks with teh creepy genie.